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25 July 2008 @ 05:49 pm
Though I left downtown after hanging out with Rachel for the majority of my day feeling perfectly content, something exploded inside me after being on the trolley for approximately 25 seconds. I began to think of the things that are lacking in my life, and the things I want out of it as well. I felt a bit like I have no control left. I had just begun to think that I was gaining some ground, when it came - quite abruptly - to my attention that I am, indeed, being left behind once again.

It's probably just the critter that is attacking my ovaries that is doing such damage.
Current Music: Swingset Chain
24 July 2008 @ 08:09 pm
I'm feeling lonely. And a little bit like everyone else in the entire world is moving at a completely different pace than me. I'm trailing behind and I can't seem to catch up. I thought I would be the one to start off anew, but somehow, somewhere along the way I missed my chance.

I'm feeling impatient. I don't want to keep waiting for things to change, mostly because I have no guarantee that they ever will. I'd like so much for some sort of stability; something concrete that I could rely on for the first time.

I'm feeling as though I've drawn the short straw. I see now how it should have been with []. I see now that what we had wasn't how it should have been. It changed me, yes, but I'm not so sure for the better. I find myself avoiding any sort of intimate connections, because I am scared of getting involved in relationships - friendships or romantic ones. I have distanced myself, because I remember what happened last time when I decided to let myself be vulnerable. I have become scared and directionless.

Hopefully sometime soon things will be a little..safer.
19 July 2008 @ 08:51 pm
I found you on the side of the road
A shiny little circle with stories untold
I took you on home with me and there you'll stay
Said I'd like to string some keys on you if that's okay

Mom said I should color you to tell them apart
I use you when I'm to and from the trunk of my car
My mom was right 'cause my keys are of all shapes and sizes
Before I had no other way to organize it

That was only three years ago
Thanks for the awesome times I love you so
I use you every day it's like I almost die
'Cause every so often you are lost for awhile

Now I've got a big collection on this ring
I love you so much that to you I will sing
Everybody sees a silly look in my eye
'Cause every time I think of you I start...to..cry.
11 June 2008 @ 06:54 pm
You're gonna change your ways...

Current Music: Gregory and the Hawk
11 June 2008 @ 06:48 pm
You can't deny me..

Current Music: Erin McKeown
11 June 2008 @ 01:02 am
Tell me what I'd like to hear.

For once.